Two home water births
I started thinking about home birth during the seventh month of my first pregnancy. Up until then I had assumed that hospital was the only real option. I didn’t know anyone who had given birth at home so I thought that you had to be very brave or a mad hippy to do so. I am neither!
Once me and my husband Marc began thinking about the birth we realised that we felt unhappy about the prospect of the baby and I staying at the hospital overnight without him - one of the most important times in our relationship! I began to face up to the reality of what might happen which made me feel nervous and slightly claustrophobic about being trapped on a labour ward with nothing familiar or homely around me. Medical intervention seemed an inevitability of a hospital birth which was something I desperately wanted to avoid.
I tentatively did some research into homebirths and was fascinated by what I read. Every glowing, happy recollection made me realise that this was the way it could be - not just for other people but for me too. The moment I said to Marc “I think I want a homebirth’ was an amazingly liberating one. We immediately felt that we were onto something very positive.
Thankfully, I found the Wessex Independent Midwives. Tricia came round to meet us and agreed to be our primary midwife with Caroline as second. We both looked forward to our antenatal check ups from then onwards (I am a bundle of nerves in doctor’s waiting rooms!). Here were people discussing birth and wellbeing with real passion. I also knew without a doubt that they were really excited about the birth of our baby and being a part of it which gave us a fantastic feeling of confidence.
My labour started during the early hours of a Sunday morning. A very gentle but unmistakable ‘buzzing’ sensation. I kept it secret for a while, enjoying the privacy of the moment. I know that I would have started to get very tense and frightened at this point had I been due to go to hospital.
Mild contractions were coming about every five minutes which confused me a bit as I thought they should start off further apart! We rang Tricia at 8am. She was very reassuring and advised us to put on the TENS machine, which we did and it helped a lot. Tricia had told me that women usually retreat to the smallest room in the house during labour. This is exactly what I did - I was dancing around the bathroom when Tricia arrived! I had been coping well but was so relieved to see her and be in such capable hands. It was wonderful to be in her maternal presence.
I moved to our bedroom and Tricia suggested I lean over the birth ball while she rubbed my lower back. I remember vividly being so grateful that there weren’t random people coming and going from the room and no unnecessary vaginal examinations. I couldn’t think of anything worse. After a little while Tricia told me I was 9cm dilated so had better get downstairs quickly to have the baby in the pool! I hobbled down the stairs impressively fast for someone in labour!
Getting into the warm water was immensely soothing and gave me renewed energy to push the baby out. I would recommend a water birth to anyone. From then on things happened quite quickly. I realised that I had been fighting the pain a bit before but now being in the water somehow allowed me to give in and let it happen.
I knelt in the pool with my arms over the edge and Tricia quietly sat nearby, sometimes letting me drench her by hanging around her neck! I was immensely comforted that Marc was nearby but felt the overwhelming need for another woman to be supporting me emotionally and physically.
After about half an hour of pushing, our daughter Amy was born. I loved the feeling of her body slipping out into the water. Such intense relief and sense of achievement. It is so surreal and wonderful lifting your baby out of the water into your arms for the first time. Here is the little person who has been inside you all that time. I stayed in the pool for twenty minutes or so and then got out so that the placenta could come. This was very easy too and I loved the way that Caroline and Tricia excitedly looked at the placenta and showed it to us - instead of it being treated as a medical object which is simply to be disposed of.
I lay on the sofa wrapped in blankets cuddling our baby and Caroline stayed patiently with me to teach me about breastfeeding. The atmosphere was so positively charged. Someone made me a cup of tea and gave me a sandwich while Marc and the midwives cleared up the plastic sheets and emptied the pool. Some people say they couldn’t bear to give birth at home because of all the ‘mess’. Let me tell you that you are completely oblivious to it all and your sense of time goes out of the window during and after the birth so everything (including the clearing up) is out of your hands and happens very fast.
Tricia ran me a lovely bath which was bliss. Then we all went to our bedroom and sat chatting drinking champagne (well, I had a tea!).
Husband, child and newborn minutes after birth I think it’s terribly sad that partners are generally excluded during pregnancy and birth. I couldn’t have done it without Marc’s support and that came from his involvement in the antenatal meetings and talking openly with the midwives about everything we were feeling or concerned about.
When I became pregnant for the second time there was no question who would be our midwives. I was on the phone straight away! Again, a wonderful, beautiful birth. Quicker too, my labour with Amy was 6 hours and 4 hours with Anna. This time Frances was my primary midwife with Caroline supporting. Chrissy - I’ll have to have another so you can be there!
We feel so proud that our daughters were allowed to be born gently in their own way in their own time. It has also been hugely beneficial to me personally as I followed my instincts which turned out to be good. With the right people supporting us, I was able to do it all without drugs or any kind of intervention which was very important to me. On a more practical level I have to add that paying for the services of independent midwives is the best investment we have ever made!
We are incredibly fortunate that such skilfull midwives were on our doorstep. I’m so happy we met Tricia, Caroline and Frances. They will be part of our lives forever. I knew both times that they all loved being there at our births, there was no rushing off or clock watching. Marc, me and our babies were so cared for by them all. It’s a wonderful feeling to be so cherished and you don’t realise beforehand that this is exactly what you need. I would go back and do it all over again which I don’t hear many people say about giving birth!