The Birth of Maisie
The story of Maisie's birth by Rachel (33) and Graeme (28), first-time parents When I was about four months pregnant I realised I was very scared of giving birth and assumed it was because of the pain.
I then realised that what I was actually scared of was going into hospital and my perception of a hospital birth - gained mainly from the many horror stories people had been keen to tell me since I had announced my pregnancy. It was then that I started researching home births and after attending an NCT home birth group, made my decision to have a home birth with an independent midwife.
Because we lived in a small one bedroomed flat on the fourth floor, we decided to have the birth at my parents spacious bungalow, and three weeks before my due date a birth pool was set up there, and my dad was shown how to fillit up on the big day! At 39 weeks we thought the big day had arrived as my back started to hurt and I was 2 cm dilated. This then went up to 3cm and so that night Graeme (my partner), Caroline (my midwife) and I all went over to mum and dads where the pool was filled up and waiting and mum and dad moved into the caravan for the night.
I got to 4cm and then it all stopped! At 5.30am Graeme and I went for a brisk walk to the beach in an effort to get it all started again, but to no avail, so at lunch time, rather despondently we all went home again. That week was full of stops and starts and my Braxton Hicks contractions (which I had been having since about six months) were coming thick and fast. I went for some reflexology with a friend, and then about 2 hours later my waters broke - or so I thought! Tricia, my other midwife, was there at the time and said it was probably just the hind waters and that labour could still be a way off.
The next day I woke up full of energy and breezed around Tescos (although if I had known what proper broken waters were like I don't think I would have!) and then went to see a friend. That evening Graeme and I went for another big walk, incorporating a long hill, and went to bed. At midnight I woke with mild rhythmic contractions, but went back to sleep, only to wake at 2.30am with a popping sensation and then, very obvious, breaking waters.
At 2.45 I rang Caroline and was laughing down the 'phone that this was it and it was all quite painless and easy! She arrived in about 45 minutes and by then it had started to get a little tougher! My contractions were every couple of minutes and increasing in strength, and on inspection I was 9cm dilated which was fantastic! It was then I realised that I wasn't going to be able to get down all those stairs and across town to my parents without quite a lot of distress, so I made a decision to stay at home.
My poor parents, who had been frantically filling the pool again, had to empty it out and my dad had to dash across town with the assorted tarpaulins and towels which had been ready at their house. I would say the only time I was scared during the whole labour was at the moment when I realised my dream of a water birth was over and that I would have to do it all on gas and air and with the TENS machine. However I was determined to get into the water so at 4.15am I got into the bath. This was fairly useless as the water didn't even reach my belly button (we didn't have a very big hot water tank!), and I ended upon all fours in the bath, which I suddenly realised was a complete waste of time as only my knees were in the water! At 5am I got out and shuffled to the lounge where Caroline and Graeme had made a fantastic "nest" for me in front of the fire and I took my position on all fours resting on a birth ball.
The rest of it flew by- the contractions came thick and fast and I reached maximum on the Tens machine by about 2/3rds through. I tried one blast of gas and air but it made me feel out of control so I realised I'd just have to trust my body to get on with it and that's exactly what I did and my baby remained incredibly calm and stable throughout. I made noises I never dreamed I was capable of but they were amazingly effective at controlling the pain and it was nothing like the horrific experiences that people had regaled me with.
At about 5.50 my body started to push and at 6.27 following two big pushes out popped Maisie, weighing 7lb 6oz and after a six and a half hour labour. An our and a half later, after Maisie and my first bath together and lots of support, Caroline and Tricia had cleared up and gone and Graeme, Maisie and I were in our big bed together getting to know each other, which is what I had dreamed of. Giving birth was the most amazing and wondrous experience of my life. If I can pass on one message to the many women out there who are afraid of giving birth, as I was, it is to have faith in the abilities of the human body. I didn't attend any antenatal classes or practice breathing or anything like that, but when it came to it my body knew exactly what to do, exactly what noises to make to help with the pain, exactly when and how to push.
Birth does not have to be a painful, out of control experience that you want to forget about. I relive my experience many times in my head and it has left me with a huge sense of confidence and empowerment, which I believe has enabled myself and Graeme to be confident first time parents with huge belief in our own abilities. When I was pregnant and a friend suggested the idea of having an independent midwife (as she had previously used Caroline), I dismissed the idea as something only wealthy people could afford. However, the more I thought about it the more I realised that it was important enough for us to be able to find the money - it's only the same as you might spend on a family holiday or upgrading the car, was how we justified it to ourselves.
Overwhelmingly though, our main drive was to be able to give our child the best possible start in life, and also that my husband and I also deserved what, in our opinion, is the best possible one to one support and care. Our time with Caroline was incredibly valuable. Each and every visit to us lasted at least an hour and enabled me to bombard her with the many questions and concerns buzzing in my head. By the time Maisie was due I had built up such a bond and a trust with Caroline, and that enabled me to feel safe and calm throughout the labour, which I am sure was why I had such an exhilarating and wonderful experience. And 9 months later, when I was pregnant with my second child, we didn't hesitate to enlist Caroline again. And that's another story…………!