Davina’s Birth Story – Jasper’s Arrival
For 30 years I lived life to the max. I climbed peaks, traveled the world whenever I could, and have lived in many countries. Nevertheless, without a doubt the most incredible, awesome thing I have ever done is giving birth to our baby Jasper, hands down!
11:30pm November 1, 2011 (over 2 weeks before due date)
Me: sound asleep
Simon: downstairs plodding away, yet another night, at a very demanding work deadline.
11:32pm
Me: jolt awake thinking “did I just wee myself?” Realizing Simon was still downstairs at work I thought, “I might just be able to keep this to myself – how embarrassing!” After a quiet and quick change of sheets and clothes, back under the duvet I slipped. Result!
11:44pm
Me: sound asleep
Simon: still plodding away at the work deadline.
11:45pm
Me: bolt upright! Thought “ No, it can’t be, I just weed myself again!” Realizing that I had used our only other set of sheets just minutes before, I knew I might not get off as lightly this time. In my drowsy haze, I thought, “What do I do now…” As I moved to see if there really wasn’t another set of old sheets somewhere in our house, it happened again! Then, just as you see in the cartoons, the light bulb switched on…
Me: “SIMON”
Simon: wearily “yes”
Me: “Can you come here a moment”
Simon: Came upstairs into our bedroom looking tired and exhausted from his many late nights. “What’s going on? You ok?”
Me: “I’m fine. But either I just weed myself twice, or my waters just broke…”
In November 2010, my mother passed away from Ovarian Cancer. I spent her final three months being her full time carer. A lot of that time was unfortunately spent navigating my way through a confusing National Health Service. Never seeing or speaking to the same “expert” and due to an enormous amount to beuorocratic guidelines, her last few months were quite stressful and a struggle at times to ensure she got the care she needed and the ability to die the way she wanted at home. Helping her achieve that was without a doubt the most important thing I have ever done. It was also a huge lesson!
When we discovered I was pregnant three months later, I dreaded the idea of birthing in a hospital. I dreaded the idea of seeing a different midwife potentially every month, I dreaded “experts” who didn’t know me, my body or my baby telling us what the “guidelines” or “protocol” meant for us. I didn’t want to fear that the birth of our baby might become a struggle or stressful like my mother’s last few weeks!
For me it was clear that I wanted to have this baby at home. As everybody always said to us that fear is what can make labour more difficult, I knew that at home is where I would feel safe and be able to surrender to the birthing experience, without worrying about how we would navigate hospital protocol to get the birth we wanted. Luckily my partner Simon was totally on board and away we went. I spent a lot of time online looking at websites and reading birth stories like this one. We narrowed it down to our favourites. We only had to interview one midwife as from the moment we met her, we knew it was all meant to be!
I had a brilliant pregnancy! We felt supported and reassured through seeing Caroline in our home (in the evenings to boot so Simon could be there as well) and asking all our questions as well as getting to know each other. We had a lot of fun and learned a lot through those visits.
I really think it is because Simon was able to be there for those monthly and later weekly visits, that when I did go into labour about 5 hours after my waters broke that Simon and I were such a team. I can still remember it so well…
As soon as my contractions started they seemed to intensify in both duration and pain almost immediately. It seems like it was no time at all that Simon was on the phone saying we needed Caroline. We never expected such a quick first stage of labour and I still laugh out loud at the image of Simon rushing around trying to set up a birthing pool downstairs, pump up a birthing ball (still in its packaging!) and support me through my contractions that were 2 minutes apart at this point while phoning to let Caroline know how fast things were progressing. He did so well and remained so calm!
Caroline showed up shortly after and took over helping me breath, while Simon could focus on getting the pool set up. Luckily Caroline had called for back up and Chrissy wasn’t far behind. The pool was just about ready to go when I started to push. Down the stairs I went and into the pool. The feeling of the warm water was, I remember thinking, quite possibly the best feeling in the world.
According to my labour notes, I pushed for nearly three hours. After such a fast first stage, this seemed to go on and on! Had I been in hospital, the doctors would have interfered as protocol won’t let women push that long and I would have had an assisted delivery. Because we were at home (obviously regularly monitored to make sure that baby and I were ok) I birthed our little boy Jasper in the pool at 12:16pm completely naturally the way we wanted!
With the help of Caroline, Chrissy and Erica, we felt really supported in our journey to becoming parents in the weeks that followed. Having Caroline, who knew our birth and us so well just a phone call away along with visits whenever we needed them, put us on the right track to feeling more at ease in our new roles. For me the support with breastfeeding was particularly great as I found it quite difficult and painful in the first couple of weeks.
So here we are 3 months on. Jasper is plumper than the Christmas turkey and we are well seasoned in the art of nappies, feeding and acknowledging that life is now all about change and adaptation! Jasper is a calm, content baby and we are really proud, loved up parents. All we can say is thank you in more ways than we could ever write here mostly to Caroline, but of course to Chrissy and Erica as well, for joining us and supporting us in the most phenomenal experience of our lives!